Shopping for a Man

 
Despite being a man, I don’t hate shopping. This admission may alarm people about my true gender, but I can assure you that it’s a false alarm as I’m what you see… no more, no less.

I like to go to an upscale store like Nordstrom. It offers better selections. Most importantly, you can always find your size, although at an exorbitant price. When I have a lot of time for weekend shopping, I usually start at Nordstrom to check its offerings and to hobnob with the rich and famous for a change. Did I say a lot of time? Yes, indeed, for I’m such a fussy shopper.

When I pick a shirt from the rack, for example, I scrutinize its details very carefully. Are there any missing buttons? Is there a hidden stain somewhere? Does it smell right? It’s only after it passes a thorough inspection that I’ll try it on. Why do this kind of inspection at Nordstrom? It’s because i’m paranoid.

And so I go to the fitting room. Once I find a shirt to my liking and after admiring how good I look in front of the mirror a thousand times, I cheerfully put it back on the rack. Then, I head to a discount store or factory outlet to find something similar.

It’s this penchant for discount stores and factory outlets that confuses anybody who spies on my dresser. He or she will find my clothes, pants, and underwears in different sizes as if I can change my body size at will. The fact is, you get what you pay for. I buy most of my stuff on sale, there you go. Take my pants, for instance. I’m a real 33, but I’ll go for a 36 if it’s on sale. I know it’ll fit if I tighten my belt. And I know nobody will notice, anyway, since I never tuck in my shirt, anyway. And the same goes with my shoes which ranges from sizes 8 1/2 to 10,

On days when I have some money to splurge, I do shop at Nordstrom. But I look at the price of the item first to make sure I can afford it before I like it. That’s reality check for you.

By the way, if the title of this entry has misled you in a way, rest assured that it was intentional.