An Arranged Marriage
I just received the news that my Pakistani friend is getting married. He told me that his parents found a suitable wife for her. In other words, it would be an arranged marriage as practiced in his native country for generations.
It doesn’t matter that he has been educated and living now in the United States.
“Have you met her?” I asked.
“As a matter of fact, I haven’t.” he answered. “My father asked me if I want to see her picture, I told him, no. I completely trust his judgment.”
With a master’s degree and a good paying job, he could demand a dowry from the parents of his future wife. But he said it wouldn’t be necessary.
Sometimes I wonder if an arranged marriage is the way to go. Who is better to choose a suitable mate for you than your parents? They know you since childhood. They know your tendencies. They know your likes and dislikes. In a way, it would be liberating, too. You’re absolved from making the biggest mistake of your life.
I have another friend from Iindia whose marriage was also arranged. He has two kids now, and from the look of it, he has no regrets.
“Ask April” Author of the best selling, “Date Out Of Your League” said it best:
“The advantage that arranged marriages have is that there is no illusion of love to begin with. There is a shared idea that the marriage will work because they are going to make it work. And in so doing, love often arises. Love, for them, is not a lightning bolt that hits you from the sky, or the sweet sting of cupid’s arrow. Love is a result of being committed to each other through thick and thin. Love is commitment.”