Do the Math: Secret to Staying Young
I’ve been mulling about this angst that some women have about age. No offense to womanhood, but I don’t understand why they find it hard to play their age.
It starts early in life. At 3, they can’t wait to be 5. At 5, they can’t wait to be 7. At 7, they can’t wait to be 13. At 13, they can’t wait to be 16. At 16, they can’t wait to be 18. At 18, they can’t wait to be 21. At 21, they can’t wait to be 27. At 27, however, their perspectives suddenly change.
The “can’t wait” attitude is gone. It seems that the spectre of turning 30 soon is rubbing them the wrong way. Is it because 30 means to them the end of the road? Small wonder that they will try everything to prevent it from happening.
I’ve heard that a woman becomes entitled to certain perks when she turns 30. One of them is the ability to reverse the aging process. She does it by deducting one year from her age on succeeding birthdays. It means, by her own volition, she would be 29 next year, 28 the year after that, and so on. She can continue this practice until it becomes obviously ridiculous. When such time comes, she can start adding one year back to her age. Then the reverse process begins once she reaches the magic age of 30 again. Isn’t it wonderful?
The origin of this practice has been lost in the mists of time. Yhe rumor has it that Cleopatra of Egypt and Helen of Troy took advantage of it to preserve their youth, although it should be considered hearsay as even the National Enquirer couldn’t find anybody alive to confirm it.
If I were to venture a guess, I will trace it back to the late 19th century. It’s likely that the idea came from a noted female mathematician from that era whose identity I can’t reveal in the name of national security. Incidentally, it was also around that time when Avon became a household name. As you know, it was Avon who brought perfumes, cosmetics, and personal care products to the masses, hitherto available only to the upper class. No doubt about it, these products have made lying about one’s age manageable. Botox and liposuction later on have made it into a science.
I admire women who age gracefully and being true to themselves. They know that they can’t really hold on to their youth. It’s useless as trying to catch the wind on their hands. As a result, they just let it rip. They just let nature take its course.