The Road to Perdition

 
Some days when I get time to waste, I go to Rasputin. It’s a place where you can bring your old CDs, DVDs, and games and get credit towards the purchase of items at the store. Its selection is huge. A lot of hard to find underground music and used movies can be found there. I never get disappointed whenever I visit the place. I always find something to buy.

It was Star Wars Episode 3 that I found while scrounging the used movie section this weekend. It was a steal for $9.95. It’s one of my favorite movies. I consider it better than the other star wars prequels. It’s a sad movie, though. It left me with an empty feeling when I first saw it at the theater many moons ago.

Star Wars Episode 3 tells the story of one who was good who became bad. It was the main protagonist’s love for a woman that started his fall from grace. He foresaw her impending death and wanted to save her. In the end, it was his ambition and foolish pride that got into the mix that finally did him in.

Now, my purpose in bringing the movie to the table is not to review it. It’s rather to illustrate a cynical point of view.

Most religions teach us that we are responsible for our own actions. That, if we turn to the dark side, we’ve got nothing to blame but ourselves. But can this be true? I wonder if fate has something to do with it, too.

I remember the night I met my best friend in grade school. I was a sophomore then in high school in the Philippines. I hadn’t seen him since he and his family left our town for Manila. He looked more self-assured and streetwise than the last time I saw him. Needless to say, I was very happy to see him again. When he invited me to drink beer with his buddies, how could I not oblige? We were like brothers.

We headed to the store to get the beer. How do we get the beer? I asked myself. We were minors.

We found the store attended by an elderly man. My friend bought a pack of gum, engaged the storekeeper in small talk, and distracted him well enough to let his friends steal a pack of beer. I couldn’t believe it. Just like that, without intending to, I became an accessory to a petty crime. Right then and there, I should have confronted my companions, but I didn’t. It’s been said that the strength of one’s character is gauged not only by doing what is right but also in righting what is wrong. In this particular instance, this former altar boy failed to measure up.

That night, beer had never tasted so bitter in my mouth. It was also our last time together. I never saw him again.

Sometimes the road to perdition is laid down upon us by circumstances beyond our control. It would be up to us to take it or choose a different route.