Lost My Job
As a result of outsourcing, I lost my job today. This morning I noticed that my team leader was wearing a black shirt. He stopped by my cube and said our manager wanted to see me. On the way to his office, my team leader said he had bad news. I sensed what it meant. Ii’d be terminated.
For two months now, we’ve been training guys in India to do our work. It was a given that I’d lose my job sometime. Even though I knew it was coming, I was still quite surprised and angry. There were three of us in this eventual round of layoffs. Why me? I asked myself. I was a good performer. I delivered my assignments on time even under extreme pressures. With a few exceptions, of course. But if not me, then who? I’d hate any member of the team to lose his or her job.
My manager said the same routine. It had nothing to do with my peformance. The decision came from uptstairs. Nothing personal. Just a way of doing business. Blah. Blah. Blah.
I remember my friend’s reaction when she was diagnosed with leukemia. She was having a great career. At first, She was mad. She felt that she didn’t deserve it. She tried to fight the disease with the same intensity and energy that she used in her career. When she finally realized that all was lost, she learned to accept her fate. It was time to move on. She died peacefully.
I love this team. To belong and realize that you don’t belong anymore makes me really sad. It feels like dying, but I know I can’t dwell on it. Like my dying friend, I must learn to accept my fate. Hopefully, there will be better opportunities somewhere.