the doctor is retiring

March 26, 2012 at 6:07 am 8 comments



i received a voice mail the other day. it was from the doctor’s office. the sweet voice reminded me that i was scheduled to see him today and that i should be in the office at least 10 minutes early. she ended the message by saying that if i didn’t show up, there would be a $75 charge. for sure, she left me with no choice but to go.

i arrived at the doctor’s office 15 minutes before my scheduled time. i went straight to the receptionist window. since the window was closed, i tapped at it to announce my presence. no response. i tapped at it several times more to get her attention. this impertinence on my part must have annoyed her. she finally opened the window.

“i heard you the first time,” she said with a fake smile. “would you please wait for your turn?” and then she closed the window on my face with authority. i stood silently before the window like a hurt child. it would take another 10 minutes before she opened it again and asked what in the hell i was there for.

i told her meekly that my name is so-and-so and that i came for my doctor’s appointment.

she checked my name on her appointment list, asked for my insurance card, and told me to take my seat.

it would take another hour before the nurse called my name and led me to the examination room. it was way beyond my scheduled appointment. there was no point in complaining. patients are supposed to wait for their doctor. if you don’t believe me, look for the definition of ‘patient’ in the dictionary.

i sat on the examination table like a lamb about to be sacrificed for another 15 minutes before the doctor finally came in.

“how are you doing?” he asked. “do you feel any pain or discomfort?”

i told him that i have a sore throat and need prescription for antibiotics. it was obvious from my voice that turned baritone lately.

he looked at me intently and nodded. his face was serious. i knew right then and there that it wasn’t the right thing to say.

doctors consider themselves as gods. your job is to tell them about your symptoms and nothing more. they feel insulted when you diagnose yourself. that’s their calling, you see. besides, if you already know what’s ailing you, what’s the point of you going to them in the first place?

“do i have to undress?” i asked to break the wall of silence between us.

“no, it’s not necessary,” he said. “this is just a follow-up from your last physical. just lie down and i’ll take your blood pressure.”

that was it. he completely ignored my sore throat as if to punish me for my indiscretion. he was done with me and this time it was for good. before he left the room, he told me that he was retiring from private practice.

i felt a little misty-eyed when we shook hands and said good-bye. he was my doctor for many years. i will always remember him as the one who regularly poked my butt with his gloved finger and played with my testicles like they were a pair of chinese balls. he let me suffer this ignominy in the name of science.

it’s time to look for another doctor to take his place. perhaps i should choose a female doctor for a change. what do you think?

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, humor, personal. Tags: , , , , .

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8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. AC  |  March 26, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    “patients are supposed to wait for their doctor. if you don’t believe me, look for the definition of ‘patient’ in the dictionary.” — hahahahahhahahahahah! oo nga naman!

    so he did not prescribe meds for your sore throat? 😛

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  March 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

      ac:

      no, he didn’t. he must have thought that having a sore throat could do me some good. it would prevent me from talking too much.

      Reply
  • 3. Nortehanon  |  March 27, 2012 at 1:48 am

    A female doctor? Go for it, er, her haha! 🙂

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  March 27, 2012 at 11:30 am

      nortehanon:

      aba, milagro, may nag-second the motion.

      Reply
  • 5. Mars  |  March 28, 2012 at 3:14 am

    Maybe..just maybe…a female doctor would also do you good. But eitherway, choose a good doctor 🙂

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  March 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm

      mars:

      at the end of the day, finding a good doctor is the goal. i’ve got a few recommendations. need to decide soon. 🙂

      Reply
  • 7. Pepot  |  March 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    i will always remember him as the one who regularly poked my butt with his gloved finger and played with my testicles like they were a pair of chinese balls.

    Is this really true?

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  March 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

      pepot:

      true indeed. he was very professional about it. i just closed my eyes through the whole ordeal.

      Reply

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