Some Like It Hot

Televangelists must be rejoicing at the current state of the weather.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning to the hum of the electric fan over my head. It was on all night. With this year’s record heat hovering around much of the country, it offered no relief at all, even when the last vestige of modesty was cast aside.

Today promises to be more of the same. I’m afraid there’ll be no end in sight until the Republican Party finally agrees to the scientific consensus that human activity contributes to global warming and something must be done about it. However, it seems unlikely.

Pat Robertson – ABC News

Televangelist Pat Robertson, one of the most influential supporters of the party, has opined that man-made claims of global warming on earth were a hoax. His conclusion is based on findings that global warming is also observed on Mars and yet no SUVs are driven or oil refineries are operating on the planet. Sir, how can you be sure? Have you ever been to Mars? If so, what other planets have you been to?

Other televangelists haven’t been so forthcoming but remained silent on the issue. It’s not difficult to figure out why. The current situation has provided fodder to their fire and brimstone rhetoric. Can you find a better way of getting the message of hell across to the unbelievers than by talking about the weather? Hallelujah! My brethren! As a metaphor for hell, this sweltering summer heat is their friend!

At 7:00 I decided to walk to Lucky’s, a mile away from my place, to get the Sunday paper. Even at this early, I was already feeling the heat. This conservative town was still half-asleep with a few cars on the road, driven by gray-haired people. It was a great time to walk. I could even jaywalk on the main street without fear of being run over.

The air conditioning at the store was so good that I stayed there for a while. I tell you, nothing can beat the frozen foods section in this kind of weather. I suppose it’s also a place where televangelists would dare not go and risk their reputation.

The day is long and it’s too darn hot inside the house. You know it’s hot when you get in the shower sweating and start sweating again as soon as you get out. Under the circumstances, I can’t stay and allow the televangelists to play with my mind. I think I’d go see a movie and then go to the mall where it’s cool and comfortable.

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