Hold Your Water

December 3, 2012 at 5:30 pm 10 comments

Noah's Ark

I think it was during the time of Noah that water on this planet was so plentiful that he built an ark. It was the biggest cruise ship in human history complete with animals to entertain his relatives and friends. But the fun didn’t last. While navigating around Mt. Ararat, water started to subside. Lands started to appear. They had to abandon ship. The environmentalists of the day, including Al Gore’s ancestors, attributed it to global warming. Yes dear, there was global warming even then. After all, we live in the same planet.

Global warming continued to scorch the planet until the ice age came. Animal rights activists remember it as the age of infamy when millions of animals were slaughtered for fur. Sure, not even the white house can deny that. But we can also thank the Ice Age for preserving water for future generations.

The Ice Age has come and gone and we’re at that point again when global warming is rearing its ugly head. In his Oscar-winning documentary, Al Gore showed pictures of the rapidly melting glaciers in Antartica. If not abated, he warned, it would cause sea levels to rise and drown out habitable portions of the earth’s surface. And when all glaciers are gone, then what? I’d venture to say that global warming would vent its fury through evaporation.

The dictionary defines evaporation as “the process by which a liquid is converted into a vapor. In the liquid phase, the substance is held together by intermolecular forces. As the temperature is raised, the molecules move more vigorously, and in increasingly high proportion have sufficient energy to escape from their neighbors. Evaporation is therefore slow at low temperatures but faster at higher temperatures.”

What this means is that, as global warming makes the planet hotter, the faster it will dry up. The sea levels will go down and free up land areas for real estate development by the likes of Donald Trump. And then it will be followed by water getting more and more scarce until it completely evaporates from the surface of the earth.

Such is the future that we now face, a future that Noah would have never imagined. It doesn’t help that as the world’s population continue to increase, so does the demand for the diminishing water supply. It will not be long when rivers, lakes, and other sources of water will need to be protected in the name of national security. As Mark Twain quipped, “Whisky is for drinking, water is for fighting over.”

Don’t you think it’s about time that we contribute our fair share to saving this precious resource? Most especially, potable water. You know, the kind that’s fit to drink. When we run out of it, we die of thirst, as the undocumented workers trying to cross the U.S. border in the arid desert heat. Here’s my top 10 list of things we can do:

1. Ban bottled water as packaging it requires fossil fuel and thereby contributes to global warming.
2. Promote beer, wine, and similar concoctions as potable alternatives.
3. Control the urge to flush the toilet. If it’s yellow, keep it. If it’s brown, then, by jove, flush it.
4. Keep the lawn brown. In this context, brown is beautiful.
5. Forget showering or limit it to a minimum as the french do or share it with someone.
6. Follow the lead of ladies having their hair done at the parlor once a week. This avoids washing hair at home.
7. Let the secret out that human sweat is a pheromone.
8. Start using disposable clothes and dishes.
9. If disposable clothes aren’t within the budget, practice nudity or consider leather as the cavemen did.
10. Support the drive to repeal laws pertaining to taking care of business in public places as long as it’s discreetly done.

There you go. did I miss something?


Entry filed under: Blogroll, daily prompt. Tags: , , , , .

weekly photo challenge: reflections weekly photo challenge: changing seasons

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. AC  |  December 7, 2012 at 7:44 am

    Hahahahahhahahahahaaahahaaa. And I thought this is a serious post I was even supposed to comment, “scary!” Hahahaa.
    But yeah, promote beer! Apir! πŸ˜€ I won’t agree with the shower thing though, if you’re living in a tropical country nakoooo.. Not only your nose will bleed coz of heat pag di naligo, dudugo din sya sa baho ng mga makakasalamuha mong taong di marunong maligo! Hahaha

    • 2. plaridel  |  December 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm


      you made my day. i’m glad at least one person find my jokes funny. πŸ™‚

  • 3. AC  |  December 7, 2012 at 7:45 am

    Ano ba yan, ang gulo gulo ng comment ko.. Tawa kase ko ng tawa, pero gets mo na yan hahahahahaa

    • 4. plaridel  |  December 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm


      apir! whatever that means. πŸ™‚

  • 5. fearlessinjesuschrist  |  February 25, 2017 at 11:57 am

    That was a fun read! Thanks for the smiles!

    • 6. plaridel  |  February 27, 2017 at 4:21 pm


      i’m glad you liked it. thank you. πŸ™‚

  • 7. True George  |  February 25, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    The gov’t will eventually hit Those big companies that keep polluting the water but the gov’t always act late they will only say something when the water is almost gone.

    • 8. plaridel  |  February 27, 2017 at 4:21 pm


      sadly… but better later than never.

  • 9. Christine Goodnough  |  June 8, 2018 at 10:07 am

    Loved your sense of humor! Ban bottled water, promote beer. One could debate awhile on the environmental difference between producing and recycling bottles (and picking up broken glass) versus producing and recycling plastic (and picking up dead creatures.) But I won’t. πŸ™‚

    I’m surprised, though, that you haven’t included the latest buzz about the coming ice age. I heard it back when I was in grade school, but it got shoved aside for global warming. Now I’m hearing it again: the world is actually getting colder.

    Speaking of which, I see your plan allows us in the North to trap and skin animals (a type of leather) for winter clothing. They are a renewable resource, after all. But the solutions used to tan leather might be banned by now.

    • 10. plaridel  |  June 9, 2018 at 6:36 pm


      well, with donald trump in the helm, the world is surely getting colder.


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