Ho-Ho Hoax

December 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm 5 comments


 

 

September 1897

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon
115 West Ninety-fifth Street

 

 
Dear Virginia,

I know the editor of The Sun had answered your question over a hundred years ago. I wish he had invoked the fifth amendment. I would have instead of propagating a lie.

I hate to say it, but Santa Claus doesn’t exist. She’s not real. She’s a fantasy. If you search the internet, you’d discover that she was a creation of Madison Avenue, originally conceived to sell Coke. yes, Coke as in Coca-Cola. I refer to Santa Claus as a ‘she’ because she was likely thought of as a woman. After all, Santa is the Spanish word for a female saint as in Santa Ana. The artist must be drinking a lot of Coke at the time he drew her that she ended up looking like a man.

Consider this. If Santa Claus is real, then you can have all your wishes come true. You’ll get that purple bike or the Barbie dream townhouse playset for Christmas. But instead you get practical stuff like a coat and several pair of socks to keep your feet warm on winter.

Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus is a lie, but be forwarned that a lie repeated many times may begin to sound like the truth.

People who want you to believe in Santa Claus can’t be trusted. You should avoid them like the creepy guys who offer you candy on the street. They have a hidden agenda. They want to associate Santa with love and generosity and good cheer, but all they want is to sell you an idea. They want you to drink more Coke. They want you to tell your parents to go to the mall and buy their cool products.

No, don’t believe in Santa Claus. Rather, believe in things you can feel and touch and hug. For instance, believe in your Mama and Papa who love you even if you don’t behave. They are as real as the frosting in the cake or the smell of turkey in the oven on Christmas eve.

Yes, Virginia, you’re little friends are right. There’s no Santa Claus. For a change, in this time and age, it’s nice to know, some are wiser beyond their years.

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if ain’t broke… wrapping it up

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