Beyond Forgetting

November 7, 2013 at 8:40 am 16 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-word challenge 8 november 2013


Photo Credit: Al Forbes

It was one of the buildings that survived the massive allied bombings.

As the Russians were preparing their final assault, Hans and Else decided to meet there to join her relatives planning to cross the border.

Hans went home, took off his army uniform, and put on civilian clothes.

As he made his way to the meeting place, he found the whole city in chaos.

At street corners, military checkpoints were posted to catch deserters.

In a quirk of fate, one of the guards recognized him. Hans was shot on the spot. As he lay dying, he whispered Else’s name.

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, daily prompt, friday fictioneers. Tags: , , , .

wordless wednesday: quiet time at monet’s pond weekly photo challenge : habit

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. etiennehanratty  |  November 7, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    This really makes the form work. The brevity makes it all the more poignant.

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  November 7, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      etienne:

      the draft was 200 words long. it was very challenging to cut it in half. 🙂

      Reply
  • 3. kz  |  November 7, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    you did a great job telling this whole story in just 100 words 🙂 a very sad tale

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  November 7, 2013 at 6:05 pm

      kz:

      thanks for reading. 🙂

      Reply
  • 5. atrm61  |  November 7, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    How tragic!Beautifully written:-)

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  November 7, 2013 at 10:45 pm

      atrm:

      thank you for taking the time to read it. deeply appreciate it.

      Reply
      • 7. atrm61  |  November 7, 2013 at 11:44 pm

        It was lovely:-)

        Reply
  • 8. dmmacilroy  |  November 8, 2013 at 2:53 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    How did the guard who got shot know else’s name? And what happened to all your capital letters? is your word processor on the blink?

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    • 9. plaridel  |  November 8, 2013 at 9:12 am

      doug:

      it was hans who was shot. sorry, i didn’t make it clear anough. i don’t use capital letters in my blog. 🙂

      Reply
      • 10. dmmacilroy  |  November 8, 2013 at 9:05 pm

        Dear Plaridel,

        That was my point re the writing and about the capital letters, unique and Cormac McCarthy-ish. Cool.

        Aloha,

        Doug

        Reply
  • 11. rochellewisoff  |  November 8, 2013 at 2:54 am

    dear plaridel,

    frighteningly dark tale. although it was a little fuzzy at the end…i’m guessing that hans was shot by the guard and not the other way around?

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  November 8, 2013 at 9:14 am

      Rochelle:

      you’re exactly right. i did a minor correction to make it clear. 🙂

      Reply
  • 13. draliman  |  November 8, 2013 at 5:19 am

    What a sad story. I don’t suppose Hans would have fared much better against the Russians, though.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  November 8, 2013 at 9:17 am

      dralimanonlife:

      he wouldn’t.

      Reply
  • […] Uit Tienen en omgeving 174. Tit for tat? – The Giggles 175. The Oil Life – Massive 176. Musings of a Random Mind – Beyond Forgetting 177. Am I My Brother’s Keeper? – jansten56 178. Branching Out – Massive 179. Disrespect? […]

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  April 21, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      thank you for the pingback! much appreciated.

      Reply

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