The Name is Bond, James Bond

Photo Credit: James Bond Films
 
It was a Saturday night to remember. I was invited to a company’s annual dinner dance in honor of its employees celebrating their 25 years of service. It was a James Bond themed party held at the local vineyard.

I accepted the invitation because it allowed me to give Mr. Bond, my childhood hero, the time of day.

I eagerly dusted off my one and only tuxedo. I’d never worn it in a while. I’d admit it was a little tight at the waist, but it kept my posture straight and held my appetite in check.

A large tent, decorated with Bond memorabilia, was erected on the vineyard grounds to accommodate 500 guests. At the entrance, Bond girls were posted to greet the guests with music from the movie playing on the background . Above the stage, a silent Bond film was being projected. Sean Connery never looked so young.

Each guest was handed a coupon worth $100. It was to be used at the casino set up on the first floor of the nearby building. At the end of the night, there’d be prizes awarded to the top three winners.

For a big party such as this, I was surprised cocktails weren’t on the house. At $10 a pop plus $2 tip, I thought I’d been had. Right then and there, I realized I’d been invited because I’m a gentleman and gentlemen buy girls drinks. Like a Bond martini, I was shaken. but unlike a Bond martini, I was stirred as well. I only got $200 in my wallet and worried it might not be enough. As luck would have it, I was able to run to the nearest ATM and get more cash before dinner started.

As dinner was being served, the guests were entertained by a heavy-set manager in a white tuxedo singing From Russia with Love. He received a thunderous applause from the audience. It was evidently more for his courage in singing in front of his co-workers than for his rendition of the song. It was followed by female employees dressed like Bond girls performing a dance routine. The show ended with a skit showing James Bond saving his love object from the clutches of masked villains in black suits. The fighting sequences were well-choreographed and deserved a standing ovation. The performers didn’t get it, though. It had to do with timing. By then, the guests were busy finishing their salad and they had a hard time standing up with their mouths full.

I had salmon with wild rice for the main course. The portion was quite small served in a rather large plate. For all this party’s aggrandizements, it reminded me that eating in moderation is good and promote intelligent conversation. If there was a silver lining, it left me room for dessert and ensured that my pants could hold on for the night.

The girls gave me their coupons to try my luck at the casino. I exchanged them for $400 worth of chips. At the casino, there were one roulette table, one crap table, and 20 blackjack tables. I went to one of the blackjack tables right away. The dealer was quite cute, but she knew her trade well. Within five minutes, I lost half of my chips. She let me win on my last $100 bet and gave me her calling card. I wondered why the other players didn’t get one. Well, I shouldn’t allow vanity to get the better of me. She wasn’t attracted to me. It must be that she had run out of calling cards to give. I tried my luck at the crap table next. I had a great game with my winnings reaching up to $1,200. Unfortunately, it wasn’t high enough to win even a consolation prize.

I’d say I had fun. I thanked the girls for the opportunity to haunt the world of my favorite character and to witness the ending of an era where employees are honored for their long standing service. Nowadays, you’d be lucky to stay in the same employer for five years.