Unstoppable

September 3, 2014 at 7:10 pm 39 comments

for friday fictioneers 100-word challenge 5 September 2014

Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsPhoto Credit: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

On the night Daniel decided to end his life, he saw Diane around a campfire smiling in his direction.

Daniel found it unusual. Since returning from Iraq with a disfigured face, people tended to avoid him.

“Is this space taken?” Daniel asked.

“Not right now,” Diane answered.

It was then Daniel noticed she was blind. For a while, they enjoyed talking to each other.

“Darling, sorry if I kept you waiting.”

“Not at all,” Diane told Brian who just arrived. “Daniel has kept me company.”

“It’s time to go,” Daniel suddenly blurted out. “I’ve got to take care of business.”

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, friday fictioneers. Tags: , .

wordless wednesday: silently standing guard I Wanted To Believe

39 Comments Add your own

  • 1. aliciajamtaas  |  September 3, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    This made my heart sink. Well done. Now I’m kind of sad….

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  September 3, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      alicia:

      so much details were deleted to fit the 100-word limit. i’m glad it still touched you in some way.

      Reply
  • 3. Elan Mudrow  |  September 3, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    Nice!! Check out:
    tricksterchase.com

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 9:39 am

      elan:

      thank you. i’ll check it out.

      Reply
  • 5. wmqcolby  |  September 3, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    Wow. Poignant. You have a very rich story here. I wanted to hear more. Nice work this week!

    Thanks for this, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 9:40 am

      wmqcolby:

      you’re very kind. perhaps i should turn it into a real short story. 🙂

      Reply
      • 7. wmqcolby  |  September 4, 2014 at 11:28 am

        Hey, if them mood is hitting you …

        Reply
        • 8. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 4:58 pm

          wmqcolby:

          someday, someday… 🙂

          Reply
  • 9. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)  |  September 4, 2014 at 9:15 am

    I almost had hope there.. so sad he didn’t see it that way..

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 9:43 am

      björn:

      sad but true. when life gives you a lemon, you can’t always make a lemonade.

      Reply
  • 11. sustainabilitea  |  September 4, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Like Bjorn, I was hopeful that there would be a happy ending. How sad.

    janet

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      janet:

      not this time around, unfortunately. 😦

      Reply
  • 13. Grace  |  September 4, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    :-(. So sad, and….sadder yet….something like this is happening multiple times a day, every day, amongst our wounded warriors. Good job.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      grace:

      we owe these wounded warriors a debt of gratitude for their sacrifices.

      Reply
  • 15. rgayer55  |  September 4, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    Heartbreaking, but extremely well written. You took hope and smashed it with a large rock. Life does that to us sometimes.

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 11:41 pm

      russell:

      thank you. much appreciated especially coming from you.

      Reply
  • 17. draliman  |  September 4, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Nice – I felt hope grow for a happy ending, only to be dashed at the last moment.

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  September 4, 2014 at 11:44 pm

      draliman:

      sometimes life throws a sucker punch so bad one can’t recover from it.

      Reply
  • 19. FabricatingFiction  |  September 5, 2014 at 12:03 am

    Really touching. I had hoped he had found some love and happiness. I hope he hangs around.

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  September 5, 2014 at 10:34 am

      fabricatingfiction:

      too bad, it didn’t end that way.

      Reply
  • 21. Claire Fuller  |  September 5, 2014 at 12:52 am

    Ah, you gave us a tiny glimmer of hope and then dashed it. Cruel writer!

    Reply
    • 22. rochellewisoff  |  September 5, 2014 at 1:56 am

      Dear Plaridel,

      Claire just took the words right from me. I’ll just add a “nicely done.”

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Reply
      • 23. plaridel  |  September 5, 2014 at 10:35 am

        rochelle:

        i just tried to get into the mind of someone who had lost the capacity to hope.

        Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  September 5, 2014 at 10:34 am

      claire:

      the purpose is to raise consciousness about the plight of our disabled veterans.

      Reply
  • 25. Shandra  |  September 5, 2014 at 5:23 am

    Nicely done though a tragic tale for sure.

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  September 5, 2014 at 10:35 am

      shandra:

      thank you for reading. much appreciated.

      Reply
  • 27. K.Z.  |  September 5, 2014 at 8:38 am

    aww i’m still hoping that he didn’t go through with it..

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  September 5, 2014 at 10:36 am

      k.z.:

      knowing his situation, it wouldn’t have ended any differently.

      Reply
  • 29. patriciaruthsusausan  |  September 7, 2014 at 5:45 am

    Plaridel, It’s crucial that those returned soldiers get the right counceling. Plastic surgery is often available to help these days. He shouldn’t give up. I know you’re trying to prove a point. He just needs support from friends and family. Perhaps he doesn’t have that, and that’s a shame. He’s suffering from depression and needs to get help. Depression can be deadly. —Susan

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  September 7, 2014 at 1:56 pm

      susan:

      it’s too late for some, but hopefully not for those who follow after them.

      Reply
  • 31. lifeconfusions  |  September 8, 2014 at 5:35 am

    what a thoughtful and meaningful story…

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  September 8, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      lifeconfusions:

      thank you for reading. glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 34. Nan Falkner  |  September 8, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    Dear Plaridel, Wow! Good kick in the gut for this guy and I believe that maybe he can find a school for the blind somewhere to volunteer and perhaps some day he will find someone else. Personally, I think he should be able to find a girl that would overlook his looks – I certainly would have. Good piece! Nan 🙂

    Reply
    • 35. plaridel  |  September 8, 2014 at 3:24 pm

      nan:

      good point if he were willing to listen.

      Reply
  • 36. siobhanmcnamara  |  September 9, 2014 at 4:56 am

    Good story and some important issues raised. I hope his time with Diane had enough impact to stop him at the last minute, though who knows. Still, it’s good to remember that a smile or giving a little of one’s time can have a big effect on someone’s life, as can the opposite

    Reply
    • 37. plaridel  |  September 9, 2014 at 10:29 am

      siobhan:

      thank you for reading. a little kindness goes a long way.

      Reply
  • 38. Rachel Bjerke  |  September 9, 2014 at 8:40 am

    Ouch, this one hurt my heart. Very well written though.

    Reply
    • 39. plaridel  |  September 9, 2014 at 10:32 am

      rachel:

      thank you for reading. it’s much appreciated.

      Reply

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