The Girl Next Door

January 14, 2015 at 2:55 pm 40 comments

for friday fictioneers 100-word challenge 16 January 2015

Jan Wayne Fields
Photo Credit: Jan Wayne Fields

Note: This week’s picture prompt reminds me of a poem I wrote a few years ago. It was about a guy standing by his window longing to get a glimpse of his crush living next door. Please indulge me in sharing it with you. As to this shy person’s identity, however, my lips are sealed. Haha. If I tell you, I’d have to kill you.

whenever i don’t see you
i see what i can’t see
like the hands of this clock moving
and the day passing at sea

i see the waves turning black
and i can’t wait for morning
for without you, my dear one
the stars have lost their meaning

then the dawn starts breaking
and it doesn’t bring much delight
from where i stand, all i’d be seeing
is day blending into the night

whenever i don’t see you
i see a world fading fast
and no one else can bring its colors back
except you who claimed my heart

 

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, friday fictioneers. Tags: , .

wordless wednesday: too close for comfort weekly photo challenge: serenity

40 Comments Add your own

  • 1. cjjustice1  |  January 14, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    I really love that picture… it immediately grabbed my attention, as I was going through the reader, and just needed to have a closer look. I love the effect of the color of the flowers outside, as well as of the dishes on the table, & the wall of the building.

    Then as I read your intro, and then the poem, I could just sense the feelings of that young man. Nice!

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  January 14, 2015 at 6:07 pm

      cjjustice1:

      i’m pretty sure jan will appreciate your comment. i find the picture extraordinary and thought-provoking as well. hey, i’m glad you liked my poem, too. cheers!

      Reply
  • 3. Priceless Joy  |  January 14, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    Lovely poem! 🙂

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  January 14, 2015 at 6:07 pm

      priceless joy:

      thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 5. sustainabilitea  |  January 14, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Touching, Plaridel.

    janet

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  January 14, 2015 at 8:13 pm

      janet:

      glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 7. Sandra  |  January 15, 2015 at 3:01 am

    Nicely done.

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:21 am

      sandra:

      thank you as always.

      Reply
  • 9. draliman  |  January 15, 2015 at 3:15 am

    Lovely and touching poem.

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:21 am

      draliman:

      thank you.

      Reply
  • 11. patrickprinsloo  |  January 15, 2015 at 3:18 am

    Nice one. Poetry’s such a tough ask!

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:21 am

      patrick:

      that is so true.

      Reply
  • 13. Suzanne Joshi  |  January 15, 2015 at 3:23 am

    Good poem, Plaridel. Very hearfelt. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:22 am

      suzanne:

      i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 15. FabricatingFiction  |  January 15, 2015 at 3:47 am

    Beautiful.

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:22 am

      louise:

      thank you.

      Reply
  • 17. rochellewisoff  |  January 15, 2015 at 8:32 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    A sweet poem from a shy admirer. Lovely.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:22 am

      rochelle:

      shyness can bring the poet in you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 19. aliciajamtaas  |  January 15, 2015 at 10:09 am

    Much feeling in this poem and it fits the picture to a T. Well done.

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 4:32 pm

      alicia:

      thank you.

      Reply
  • 21. Maniparna Sengupta Majumder  |  January 15, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Wonderful and touching words…love it… 🙂

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 4:32 pm

      maniparna:

      wow. that’s great.

      Reply
  • 23. emilayskie  |  January 15, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Weee! Ang sweeet! Sino kaya iteeech? Haha.. 😀

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 11:16 pm

      emilayskie:

      🙂

      Reply
  • 25. dmmacilroy  |  January 15, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    Dear Plaridel,

    A sweet foray into poetry and love and longing. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  January 15, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      doug:

      thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 27. rgayer55  |  January 16, 2015 at 9:52 am

    There are some beautiful lines in there. My favorite was “the stars have lost their meaning.” A very nice poem.

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  January 16, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      russell:

      thank you.

      Reply
  • 29. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)  |  January 16, 2015 at 12:37 pm

    Unrequited love.. what a classic piece,, I still hope the protagonist do not follow the footsteps of you Werther

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  January 16, 2015 at 4:32 pm

      björn:

      thank you.

      Reply
  • 31. adamjasonp  |  January 17, 2015 at 6:41 am

    Beautiful.

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  January 17, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      adam:

      thank you.

      Reply
  • 33. Amy Reese  |  January 17, 2015 at 10:25 am

    Nicely done. You captured the longing very well.

    Reply
    • 34. plaridel  |  January 17, 2015 at 1:41 pm

      amy:

      thank you for the nice compliment.

      Reply
  • 35. Sarah Ann  |  January 19, 2015 at 3:55 am

    A very touching piece.

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  January 19, 2015 at 9:30 am

      sarah ann:

      a nice compliment. thank you.

      Reply
  • 37. preciouspen1955  |  January 19, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Lovely poem one can feel the sadness of the disappearing day alongside the hope of seeing your hearts desire, a poem that stays with one because of the time elapsed in the duration of the day and cant help hoping that the next day ;that same figure that stood by the window will at the least throw open that window proclaim the love and take a chance , I know this may not be the correct way , but life is short, we torture ourselves so much .
    Kind Regards Kathy.

    Reply
    • 38. plaridel  |  January 19, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      kathy:

      your well-thought off comment is much appreciated. thank you.

      Reply
  • 39. Nan Falkner  |  January 19, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Dear Plaridel, I love your poem – it’s lovely and appropriate for this picture! Excellent and moving! Nan 🙂

    Reply
    • 40. plaridel  |  January 19, 2015 at 7:51 pm

      nan:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it. 🙂

      Reply

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