Coup de Grâce

April 1, 2015 at 2:59 pm 54 comments

for friday fictioneers 100-word challenge 3 April 2015

Lauren Moscato
Photo Credit: Lauren Moscato

It was a scene straight from a movie set.

A woman was lured to the house she shared with her soon-to-be ex-husband. Once inside, he started attacking her.

She tried to defend herself with her purse. But it was no use against a man armed with a baseball bat.

As she lay bloodied and battered, her thoughts were of the children growing up without her.

He was about to deliver the coup de grâce when the woman unexpectedly giggled causing him to stop.

“Cut!” the director yelled, undoubtedly annoyed. “What’s the matter with you guys? We don’t have all day.”

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54 Comments Add your own

  • 1. aliciajamtaas  |  April 1, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    You lead me on – Oh! No! then the coup de grâce. Nice (?) surprise.

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  April 1, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      alicia:

      gotcha! 🙂 glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 3. bykimberlylynne  |  April 1, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Appropriate for April Fool’s Day. You got me.

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  April 1, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      kimberly:

      it’s april fool’s alright. thank you.

      Reply
  • 5. Francesca Smith  |  April 1, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    This title is very fitting because the final sentence ‘ended’ my thoughts that she was going to die, thus also ending the sadness.
    A gripping story and very well written!

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  April 1, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      fran:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 7. Rosey Pinkerton  |  April 1, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Another excellent out-take there I reckon!

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:26 am

      rosey:

      thank you for the nice compliment.

      Reply
  • 9. Nan Falkner  |  April 1, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    Good April Fools story Plaridel! Honestly great! Nan

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:26 am

      nan:

      whew! glad it worked. 🙂

      Reply
  • 11. Lata Sunil  |  April 1, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    OH what an ending.. i had started to feel sorry for the woman! Nice one.

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:26 am

      lata:

      i’m glad you liked it. 🙂

      Reply
  • 13. micklively  |  April 1, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    Is that reality imitating art?
    Nice twist.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:26 am

      mick:

      there’s so many smart readers in this forum. glad it worked. 🙂

      Reply
  • 15. Sandra  |  April 2, 2015 at 12:08 am

    Nice twist! 🙂

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:28 am

      sandra:

      i’m glad you were taken. 🙂

      Reply
  • 17. draliman  |  April 2, 2015 at 5:47 am

    I like how your first sentence leads us to believe that it wasn’t in fact a movie set. I wonder how many takes they’ll need before the woman keeps a straight face throughout?

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:29 am

      draliman:

      they were done on the 11th hour. 🙂

      Reply
  • 19. ansumani  |  April 2, 2015 at 6:34 am

    You told us exactly what we were going to witness in line one …but we didnt beleive you…until the last line.

    In real life though no one giggles and there seems to be no ‘Director’ around…

    Very good one!

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:29 am

      ansumani:

      it was partly based on a real life event. it was a miracle the woman survived and the husband went to jail.

      Reply
  • 21. lifeconfusions  |  April 2, 2015 at 7:53 am

    Nicely done. Smooth !! 😉

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:29 am

      zee:

      thank you for reading as always.

      Reply
  • 23. gahlearner  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:00 am

    I love it, the trick with telling the truth in a way no one believes it works very well here. 🙂

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 9:29 am

      gahlearner:

      i thought it might not work. glad it did for you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 25. Priceless Joy  |  April 2, 2015 at 11:15 am

    Cute story – I can just picture that happening. Haha!

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      priceless joy:

      you must have a great imagination. thank you for reading as usual. 🙂

      Reply
  • 27. k rawson  |  April 2, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Great April Fool, you had me!

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      k. rawson:

      them days i get lucky. thank you for reading. 🙂

      Reply
  • 29. Susannah Bianchi  |  April 2, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    I didn’t see that coming. Thought you were just comparing it to a movie set. You got me between the eyes, you did 🙂

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  April 2, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      susannah:

      thank you for reading. i’m glad i didn’t disappoint.

      Reply
  • 33. rgayer55  |  April 3, 2015 at 9:42 am

    You got me good. I’m still wearing a grin.

    Reply
    • 34. plaridel  |  April 3, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      russel:

      a nice compliment from the master. thank you.

      Reply
  • 35. milliethom  |  April 3, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Well done! You build us up to believe something totally bestial is going on and then drop that bombshell of a last line. I should have paid more attention to that give-away first line – so perfectly and flippantly given as to be overlooked. Nice one. 🙂

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  April 3, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      millie:

      sometimes we overlook the obvious. i’m glad it worked. thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 37. talesfromthemotherland  |  April 3, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    Straight from a movie set, indeed! Very clever, Plaridel. 😉

    Reply
    • 38. plaridel  |  April 4, 2015 at 1:47 pm

      dawn:

      thanks for being taken. 🙂

      Reply
  • 39. FabricatingFiction  |  April 4, 2015 at 12:58 am

    Great twist.

    Reply
    • 40. plaridel  |  April 4, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      louise:

      i’m glad you liked it. 🙂

      Reply
  • 41. Margaret  |  April 4, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Cleverly done. I like that you break the tension with a giggle. Good story.

    Reply
    • 42. plaridel  |  April 5, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      margaret:

      i’m glad it worked for you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 43. Tracey@WhatsforDinnerDoc.com  |  April 4, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    You made me hold my breath in anticipation. Good job on the tension in this piece. The giggle was well timed and a surprise as intended.

    Reply
    • 44. plaridel  |  April 5, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      tracey:

      i’m glad you liked it. now, i’m wondering if i can top this one. 🙂

      Reply
  • 45. adamjasonp  |  April 5, 2015 at 4:35 am

    Mixing April Fools with the movies. The giggle relieved the tension well, well-timed…well, that’s already been stated.

    Reply
    • 46. plaridel  |  April 5, 2015 at 1:00 pm

      adam:

      thank you for reading. i’m glad you liked it. 🙂

      Reply
  • 47. dmmacilroy  |  April 5, 2015 at 10:52 pm

    Dear Plaridel,

    I love how you set the stage, then led us to believe it was real, then let us down with a laugh. Wonderful work if you can get it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    • 48. plaridel  |  April 6, 2015 at 9:19 am

      doug:

      thank you for reading as usual.

      Reply
  • 49. Suzanne Joshi  |  April 7, 2015 at 4:16 am

    Great twist at the end, Plaridel. I gues you’d call that method acting, except for the giggle. That wasn’t the way to the director’s heart for sure. Well done, Plaridel. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Reply
    • 50. plaridel  |  April 7, 2015 at 9:49 am

      suzanne:

      the director was mad that it was taking so many takes. 🙂

      Reply
  • 51. rochellewisoff  |  April 7, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Dear Plaridel,

    I love the twist at the end of this. Great outtake for the ending credits

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 52. plaridel  |  April 8, 2015 at 7:21 pm

      rochelle:

      thank you for reading as usual. it means a lot. 🙂

      Reply
  • 53. Indira  |  April 13, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    The end so surprised me. I was feeling so sorry for her. Nicely written.

    Reply
    • 54. plaridel  |  April 14, 2015 at 11:17 am

      indira:

      glad you were surprised. it means it worked. 🙂

      Reply

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