Man On Fire

April 15, 2015 at 10:41 am 50 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 17 April 2015

Roger Bultot
Photo Credit: Roger Bultot

“Drop your weapon!” Milan ordered the man wanted for bombing a school for girls. The images of the dead and wounded emerging from the explosion haunted him. He had become a man on fire vowing revenge.

Discretion being the better part of valor, Kareem decided to surrender. He figured he still had the upper hand. Milan and his superiors would keep him alive and swapped for the downed pilot captured by his terrorist group.

“Okay, okay,” he sneered, laying down his arms. “You can’t shoot me anyway. You’re a cop.”

“I was,” said Milan as he pulled the trigger.

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, friday fictioneers. Tags: , , .

Only In The Philippines weekly photo challenge: early bird

50 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Yinglan  |  April 15, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Nice ending. He called his bluff and Milan delivered.

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  April 15, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      yinglan:

      at least, he died before realizing he made a mistake.

      Reply
  • 3. FabricatingFiction  |  April 15, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Wow. That will teach him for making assumptions!

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  April 15, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      louise:

      he thought Milan would be playing by the rules. big mistake.

      Reply
  • 5. Bjรถrn Rudberg (brudberg)  |  April 15, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    Somehow I could not feel any compassion.. yet I always think there should be worse things than death for those guys…

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  April 15, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      bjรถrn:

      folks who commit this kind of atrocity are better dead than alive. they have to be exterminated at the first opportunity.

      Reply
  • 7. Francesca Smith  |  April 15, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    Which is why one should hardly (if ever) become presumptuous and make assumptions! I like how the fire was a metaphor for what Milan was feeling on the inside.
    Good story.

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  April 15, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      fran:

      when i saw this week’s picture prompt, it brought back to mind the taliban attack of a girls school in pakistan that killed 145 last december. i had to write along that line. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
      • 9. lifeconfusions  |  April 17, 2015 at 7:40 am

        Sorry to intervene here, but don’t you mean the attack on APS Peshawar on 16th December? That wasn’t on girls school to be specific. Who told you it was so?

        Reply
  • 15. micklively  |  April 15, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Which one is the terrorist?
    Good piece.

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:30 am

      mick:

      good question. i’d say both since milan put himself above the law he was supposed to protect.

      Reply
  • 17. Sandra  |  April 16, 2015 at 12:34 am

    He’s obviously not been watching television the past few weeks… Nice one!

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:30 am

      sandra:

      that’s a good one. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  • 19. rochellewisoff  |  April 16, 2015 at 2:24 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    Ouch. One bit of crit for hat it’s worth. I think the ending line would be stronger if you lost “killing him instantly.”

    Perhaps “I was,” said Milan as he pulled the trigger.

    Your call…still a strong story nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:32 am

      rochelle:

      of course, you’re right, changing it as we speak.

      Reply
  • 21. dmmacilroy  |  April 16, 2015 at 2:24 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    Kareem got off far too easily. I like Milan and the sense that righteous justice has been dispensed. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:33 am

      doug:

      still i feel sorry for kareem. he’d be disappointed that there’d be no 72 virgins waiting for him up there.

      Reply
  • 23. Indira  |  April 16, 2015 at 2:38 am

    Very well done. Kareem deserved it.

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:33 am

      indira:

      kareem deserved it many times over.

      Reply
  • 25. draliman  |  April 16, 2015 at 3:09 am

    I can imagine many people, cops and soldiers included, feel the same way when faced with such a person.

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:34 am

      draliman:

      these ruffians get easy because we’re conditioned to think we are better than they are.

      Reply
  • 27. gahlearner  |  April 16, 2015 at 7:25 am

    Kareem got what he deserved, but I’m sorry for Milan, he’ll have to suffer the aftermath. I like how you linked this to fire.

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  April 16, 2015 at 10:34 am

      gahlearner:

      when i saw smoke in the picture prompt, it reminded me of the bombed school building in pakistan. it’s likely that milan would be disciplined and face court-martial.

      Reply
  • 29. The Writer's Village  |  April 16, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    Ooh,a nasty justice prevails at the end. I hope Milan got the right man, and I hope, if that is so, that Milan gets off easy. Nowadays, nobody knows what going to happen Randy

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  April 17, 2015 at 9:57 am

      randy:

      i hope so, too. otherwise, it’d be a disgrace.

      Reply
  • 31. lingeringvisions by Dawn  |  April 16, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    Oh that’s dirty!

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  April 17, 2015 at 9:57 am

      dawn:

      you bet.

      Reply
  • 33. Suzanne Joshi  |  April 17, 2015 at 1:15 am

    That’s really raw justice, a twist at the end. Good tension, Parlidel. Well done. ๐Ÿ™‚ — Suzanne

    Reply
    • 34. plaridel  |  April 17, 2015 at 10:02 am

      suzanne:

      thanks to rochelle’s for giving the ending more punch. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  • 35. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist  |  April 17, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Cop turned vigilante – in a way the fire inside him could be similar to the fire inside the terrorist. The terrorist copped it now so too should the ex cop. Good story. A good example of how you can dislike all the major players and yet still like a story.

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  April 17, 2015 at 7:42 pm

      irene:

      thank you for the comment. coming from you, i consider it a great compliment.

      Reply
  • 39. milliethom  |  April 17, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    A gripping scene with a great ending. The move came very unexpectedly from a cop and worked really well, ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • 40. plaridel  |  April 17, 2015 at 7:42 pm

      millie:

      thank you very much. i’m glad the ending worked as rochelle had suggested.

      Reply
  • 41. Perry Block (@PerryBlock)  |  April 18, 2015 at 5:49 am

    Great job! One of the most satisfying revenge fantasies I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks!

    Reply
    • 42. plaridel  |  April 18, 2015 at 9:06 am

      perry:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 43. Tracey@WhatsforDinnerDoc.com  |  April 18, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    Nice job Milan and Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 44. plaridel  |  April 19, 2015 at 5:15 pm

      tracey:

      thank you. i’ll make sure to get the word out. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  • 45. talesfromthemotherland  |  April 19, 2015 at 9:21 am

    Great use of the prompt, Plaridel! This piece crackles with heat and tension. Excellent!

    Reply
    • 46. plaridel  |  April 19, 2015 at 5:15 pm

      dawn:

      thank you. it’s very encouraging. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  • 47. rgayer55  |  April 20, 2015 at 3:31 am

    Ha! The last line made me cheer. It was like a John Wayne movie. I like it when justice is swift. Good one, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 48. plaridel  |  April 20, 2015 at 9:19 am

      russell:

      i’m glad you liked it. thank you.

      Reply
  • 49. joseph elon lillie  |  April 21, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    And I wonder where it goes from there. A moment of justice a lifetime of payment for the satisfaction.

    Reply
    • 50. plaridel  |  April 21, 2015 at 11:10 pm

      joseph:

      that’s one way of looking at it.

      Reply

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