Growing Pains

September 16, 2015 at 2:40 pm 39 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 18 September 2015

Jennifer Pendergast
Photo Credit: David Stewart

With Ella I didn’t always know what to expect.

On my fifth birthday, she gave me an action figure that crept me out.

“Don’t be a scaredy-cat,” she said. “It’s only a toy.”

I remembered Ella with a baseball cap worn backwards sitting on top of the fence and cheering as we played.

Those were the good old days.

We were ten when she was hit by a car and ended up in a coma. For someone who loved life, I was quite surprised she chose to go just like that.

With Ella I didn’t always know what to expect.

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, friday fictioneers. Tags: , , .

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39 Comments Add your own

  • 1. rochellewisoff  |  September 16, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Dear Plaridel,

    It doesn’t sound like it was Ella’s choice. Sad story. You packed a lot into a hundred words.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  September 16, 2015 at 5:33 pm

      rochelle:

      you’re right. ella had no choice on the matter. to a grieving boy, however, it wasn’t acceptable.

      Reply
  • 3. skippyheart  |  September 16, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    OT: Hello, Mr. P! Got your message…I haven’t updated my blog in a while and I don’t know why you can’t comment. I’ll check with my web host. Anyway, welcome back! 🙂

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  September 16, 2015 at 5:33 pm

      skip:

      that’s cool. i’ll check it out.

      Reply
    • 5. plaridel  |  September 23, 2015 at 11:32 pm

      skip:

      can’t comment still with this message: An internal error occurred: 52078445C0940.A442E47.1E097EC6. could it because i’m running windows 10 now?

      Reply
  • 6. Margaret  |  September 16, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    Sad twist. You had me guessing where this would lead, but I didn’t expect that. I like the repetition of the first and last lines – the sentence has a different impact the second time round.

    Reply
    • 7. plaridel  |  September 16, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      margaret:

      i was really debating with myself whether to do it or not. i’m glad it worked for you.

      Reply
  • 8. Rosey Pinkerton  |  September 16, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    I’m interested in why it was her choice rather than accident. A beautifully written piece that has left me wondering.
    Rosey Pinkerton’s blog

    Reply
    • 9. plaridel  |  September 16, 2015 at 5:35 pm

      rosey:

      no mystery at all. it was written from the perspective of a boy too young to realize the truth.

      Reply
  • 10. Joy Pixley  |  September 16, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    Ah, nice use of repetition with the first and last lines–really hits it home.

    Reply
    • 11. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:49 am

      joy:

      glad it worked for you. thank you for reading. 🙂

      Reply
  • 12. Suzanne Joshi  |  September 17, 2015 at 3:05 am

    Sad story, Plaridel. Children often don’t understand death. A ten year old would find it hard. Well written. —– Suzanne

    Reply
    • 13. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:49 am

      suzanne:

      i agree. the idea of death would be confusing to a child.

      Reply
  • 14. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist  |  September 17, 2015 at 3:48 am

    I was uncertain – I thought that you were hinting that she had killed herself which I thought was so sad as ten is to young to want to do that.

    Reply
    • 15. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:50 am

      irene:

      he couldn’t believe it happened at all.

      Reply
  • 16. gahlearner  |  September 17, 2015 at 6:54 am

    This is so sad. Great point of view, very believable thoughts for a young boy, I think. Poor Ella, though.

    Reply
    • 17. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:50 am

      gahlearner:

      it’s always sad when somebody died before her time.

      Reply
  • 18. draliman  |  September 17, 2015 at 8:31 am

    A sad end to quite a carefree-sounding time.

    Reply
    • 19. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:51 am

      draliman:

      thank you for reading. as always, it’s much appreciated.

      Reply
  • 20. Francesca Smith  |  September 17, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    I can understand how a child might think it was a choice. A haunting take on the picture.

    Reply
    • 21. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:53 am

      francesca:

      a child would always believe what he wanted to believe.

      Reply
  • 22. micklively  |  September 17, 2015 at 11:57 pm

    Some folk have a spark of life burning so bright, you could believe they were immortal.
    Good piece.

    Reply
    • 23. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:53 am

      mick:

      it happened in this case. he couldn’t believe that she died.

      Reply
  • 24. Sandra  |  September 18, 2015 at 4:49 am

    Good one. To a child, it would seem credible that you could choose what happened to you.

    Reply
    • 25. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:53 am

      sandra:

      he thought she’d come out of the coma but she didn’t.

      Reply
  • 26. lifeconfusions  |  September 18, 2015 at 6:46 am

    Awh this was heart breaking. And the way you described it from the perspective of a naive boy who hasn’t yet fully comprehended the idea of life and death and how it works is remarkable.

    Reply
    • 27. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 9:53 am

      zee:

      it was the first time he learned what sadness really meant and it hurt so bad.

      Reply
  • 28. dmmacilroy  |  September 18, 2015 at 11:49 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    Unlike others, I see the subtle hint at Ella’s choice, a choice we all make each and every day. I like the characterizations here and the easy way the story, and the mystery, unfolded. This was a very good, very thought provoking tale.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    • 29. plaridel  |  September 18, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      doug:

      what a great compliment. thank you kindly.

      Reply
  • 30. Amy Reese  |  September 18, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    If she were someone who took risks, I can see how her outlook on life may have brought about the coma and how the child might see it that way. Nicely done, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 31. plaridel  |  September 20, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      amy:

      that was exactly the point i was trying to make. thank you for reading.

      Reply
  • 32. rgayer55  |  September 19, 2015 at 4:02 am

    I’m still hung up on the creepy action figure. Ella was obviously unpredictable and daring, which is what he liked about her. Good story.

    Reply
    • 33. plaridel  |  September 20, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      russell:

      she was a force of nature, indeed.

      Reply
  • 34. Priceless Joy  |  September 19, 2015 at 11:55 am

    This is a very bitter sweet tale. Was sad over the ending. Great story!

    Reply
    • 35. plaridel  |  September 20, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      pricelessjoy:

      i appreciate your comment very much. thank you.

      Reply
  • 36. sustainabilitea  |  September 20, 2015 at 7:07 am

    What a sad ending for both of them, Plaridel.

    janet

    Reply
    • 37. plaridel  |  September 20, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      janet:

      i know.

      Reply
  • 38. Dawn Quyle Landau  |  September 20, 2015 at 9:41 am

    Painful, but beautifully told story, Plaridel. Ella oozes sass, and her ironic end rings true.

    Reply
    • 39. plaridel  |  September 20, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      dawn:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply

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