A Force of Nature

September 23, 2015 at 2:37 pm 42 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 25 September 2015

The Reclining Gentleman
Photo Credit: The Reclining Gentleman

I sit under the bridge by the river and think of Ella.

She was a force of nature. She could make me do anything.

Once she told me to make her a valentine card and then said it wasn’t good enough. But she hugged me anyway.

It was the last thing she’d ask of me. On the following Saturday, she died.

I miss her. She never made fun of my accent and called me names like the other kids.

Suddenly, I hear Ella’s voice calling amidst the din of traffic above.

As I slip into the waters, it gets louder.

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Entry filed under: Blogroll, friday fictioneers. Tags: , , , , .

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42 Comments Add your own

  • 1. rochellewisoff  |  September 23, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    Dear Plaridel,

    A sad story. she was and still is a force of nature. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  September 23, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      rochelle:

      she was beyond forgetting in life and in death.

      Reply
  • 3. Priceless Joy  |  September 23, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    Wow hauntingly sad but beautifully written!

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  September 23, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      priceless joy:

      it was a great loss. it taught him what sadness really meant.

      Reply
  • 5. aliciajamtaas  |  September 23, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Lovely. A truly surprising ending.

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  September 23, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      alicia:

      i wish there was a happy ending.

      Reply
  • 7. micklively  |  September 24, 2015 at 1:21 am

    The treacherous lure of the metaphysical?
    Interesting idea.

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      mick:

      just trying to experiment with it. 🙂

      Reply
  • 9. draliman  |  September 24, 2015 at 2:56 am

    She really could make him do anything! Quite a sad ending.

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      draliman:

      death of a friend or loved one can be devastating to a child.

      Reply
  • 11. Sandra  |  September 24, 2015 at 4:21 am

    Very sad again this week Plaridel. Nicely done.

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      sandra:

      i know. it must be the weather. 🙂

      Reply
  • 13. gahlearner  |  September 24, 2015 at 6:30 am

    This is so sad, a good impression of depression and how it deceives its victims.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      gahlearner:

      grief can be overwhelming especially for a child.

      Reply
  • 15. ceayr  |  September 24, 2015 at 7:48 am

    Nicely worked tale, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      ceayr:

      i’m glad you liked it. thank you.

      Reply
  • 17. Tracey@WhatsforDinnerDoc.com  |  September 24, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Good portrayal of suicide. Maybe Ella will push him to the surface if she’s a force of nature.

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      tracey:

      that would be a great ending! thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 19. Margaret  |  September 24, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    I feel for him. You’ve shown his tragic life powerfully.

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  September 24, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      margaret:

      thank you. i’m glad it resonated with you.

      Reply
  • 21. Dale  |  September 24, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    Never made fun of his accent yet told him his card wasn’t good enough….

    Reply
    • 22. rgayer55  |  September 25, 2015 at 7:57 am

      A little wishy-washy that way, wasn’t she?

      Reply
      • 23. plaridel  |  September 25, 2015 at 10:00 am

        russell:

        that was part of her charms.

        Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  September 25, 2015 at 9:57 am

      dale:

      he found him kinda hard to figure out sometimes.

      Reply
  • 25. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist  |  September 25, 2015 at 12:58 am

    That was so sad. I feel she was the one bright spot in an otherwise dark menacing world.

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  September 25, 2015 at 9:58 am

      Irene:

      she was kind of special to him.

      Reply
  • 27. Suzanne Joshi  |  September 25, 2015 at 1:43 am

    Sad last thoughts about a lost love. Well written, Plaridel. — Suzanne

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  September 25, 2015 at 9:59 am

      suzanne:

      i’m glad to you liked it. thank you for reading.

      Reply
  • 29. rgayer55  |  September 25, 2015 at 8:07 am

    I read in the paper today where an 18 yr. old girl in Massachusetts is being charged with involuntary manslaughter because she send dozens of text messages to her boyfriend encouraging him to commit suicide. She really was a force of nature.

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  September 25, 2015 at 10:04 am

      russell:

      the fairer sex does have that kind of power. i did the research. you can read it here.

      http://wp.me/p6FwZ-1u

      Reply
  • 31. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)  |  September 25, 2015 at 10:49 am

    Oh sometimes, the right thing to do may not be the right turn… alas too many think they should follow that call.

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  September 26, 2015 at 9:06 am

      björn:

      sometimes grief can make one irrational.

      Reply
  • 33. Amy Reese  |  September 25, 2015 at 11:55 am

    There is haunting but also kind of endearing that she would call for him, still. They definitely have a connection. Well done, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 34. plaridel  |  September 26, 2015 at 9:07 am

      amy:

      it looked like they did have that special connection.

      Reply
  • 35. Francesca Smith  |  September 25, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Another haunting tale indeed.

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  September 26, 2015 at 9:08 am

      fran:

      thank you for reading and support.

      Reply
  • 37. wildbilbo  |  September 27, 2015 at 4:08 am

    Haunting is a great description for this, its a great piece.

    Reply
    • 38. plaridel  |  September 28, 2015 at 11:21 am

      wildbilbo:

      thank you for your comment. it’s much appreciated.

      Reply
  • 39. ansumani  |  September 27, 2015 at 8:13 am

    sounds like a tragic ending. Nicely written.

    Reply
    • 40. plaridel  |  September 28, 2015 at 11:22 am

      ansumani:

      it was a sad ending, indeed. thank you for reading.

      Reply
  • 41. lifeconfusions  |  October 4, 2015 at 10:46 am

    Love the mysterious and haunting feel of it ! Wonderfully done Plaridel 🙂

    Reply
    • 42. plaridel  |  October 4, 2015 at 7:12 pm

      zee:

      thank you for reading. i’m glad you liked it. 🙂

      Reply

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