The Promise

February 3, 2016 at 2:11 pm 48 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 5 February 2016

Erin Leary
Photo Credit: Erin Leary

“Promise, you’d come back.”

“I promise,” Tom told Sara when he went to war.

It was the promise he kept reminding himself as he waded to shore amid heavy enemy fire on Omaha beach that day.

It was all behind him now. Finally, he was coming home.

“Sara, Sara, I’m back,” Tom cried, rushing through the front door. But she just ignored him.

Meanwhile, on Omaha beach…

“Brave kid,” the medic said referring to the soldier he tried to save. “With all the pain he had to endure, he never gave up.” Among the personal effects, he found Sara’s picture.
 

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48 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Adam Ickes  |  February 3, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    Can’t say he didn’t keep his promise. Too bad she didn’t know that. Nice take on the prompt.

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  February 3, 2016 at 11:39 pm

      adam:

      he did it in spirit.

      Reply
  • 3. luckyjc007  |  February 3, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    Great story! He kept his promise….just could not return in the same form as when he left.

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  February 3, 2016 at 11:39 pm

      luckyjc007:

      i agree. what a bummer.

      Reply
  • 5. Margaret  |  February 3, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    Sad. The ending is unexpected, and sent me back to reread the story. Well constructed.

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  February 3, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      margaret:

      i’m glad it still made sense after leaving details out to fit the 100-word limit. 🙂

      Reply
  • 7. Lata Sunil  |  February 4, 2016 at 1:05 am

    Sad. Sweet story.

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:51 am

      lata:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 9. draliman  |  February 4, 2016 at 4:25 am

    Sad, only his ghost came home 😦

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:51 am

      draliman:

      he was able to fulfill his promise at least in spirit.

      Reply
  • 11. Life in the 50's and beyond...  |  February 4, 2016 at 5:03 am

    That is a sad turn of events, but it makes a great story!

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:51 am

      ruth:

      thank you for the kind comment. deeply appreciated.

      Reply
  • 13. gahlearner  |  February 4, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Oh how sad, but he’s given his best. What more can you ask of someone? Excellent take on the prompt.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:50 am

      gahlearner:

      that’s right. what more can anybody ask?

      Reply
  • 15. Sandra  |  February 4, 2016 at 7:29 am

    Very sad. Good take on the prompt

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:50 am

      sandra:

      thank you. when i looked at the prompt, it reminded me of the time i visited omaha beach and the sadness i felt.

      Reply
  • 17. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)  |  February 4, 2016 at 8:21 am

    A sad way to keep his promise… but I guess that in the end Sara has to go on alone anyway…

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:50 am

      björn:

      war is hell.

      Reply
  • 19. athling2001  |  February 4, 2016 at 8:49 am

    I like this story. So poignant. I liked the way you showed him going home before we learned he was dead.

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:50 am

      athling2001:

      i’m glad it worked for you.

      Reply
  • 21. ansumani  |  February 4, 2016 at 8:52 am

    That’s a sad story. Nicely written.

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:49 am

      ansumani:

      war should be banned for creating many toms and saras.

      Reply
  • 23. maria  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    That’s so sad. Especially the thought that stories like this one do happen in real life. 😦 Nicely written, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      maria:

      thank you. i’m glad it didn’t disappoint.

      Reply
      • 25. maria  |  February 5, 2016 at 6:54 pm

        No, it certainly did not. 🙂

        Reply
        • 26. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 7:34 pm

          maria:

          cool! 🙂

          Reply
  • 27. Perry Block (@PerryBlock)  |  February 4, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    At least he still got to come home. Good thing she wasn’t with another man when he got there!

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 1:49 pm

      perry:

      glad she wasn’t. otherwise, he’d be a helpless spectator.

      Reply
  • 29. rochellewisoff  |  February 5, 2016 at 2:51 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    This just might be one of your finest. A little reminiscent of The Sixth Sense. Slam dunk ending.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      rochelle:

      what a compliment! thank you very much.

      Reply
  • 31. Dale  |  February 5, 2016 at 10:00 am

    Oh… how many made that promise? Well done, Plaridel!

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      dale:

      i’m afraid too many to count with my fingers.

      Reply
      • 33. Dale  |  February 5, 2016 at 2:40 pm

        Sadly…

        Reply
        • 34. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 7:36 pm

          dale:

          unfortunately.

          Reply
  • 35. Amy Reese  |  February 5, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    He tried to return to her and he did in spirit. So sad because you know this happened a lot probably. Well done, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  February 5, 2016 at 7:35 pm

      amy:

      thank you. i’m glad it somehow resonated with you.

      Reply
  • 37. Ann GrubbsnCritters  |  February 6, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Got me back and forth twice. Then “Ahh..!” Nice one, Plaridel!

    Reply
    • 38. plaridel  |  February 6, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      ann:

      oh sorry, for the extra time it took. 🙂

      Reply
      • 39. Ann GrubbsnCritters  |  February 8, 2016 at 6:54 am

        LOL. I was the slow one! The sorry is mine. But hey! it got my attention that’s why I had to read it twice. So that’s good. 🙂

        Reply
        • 40. plaridel  |  February 8, 2016 at 11:30 am

          ann:

          ok, we’re good then. 🙂

          Reply
  • 41. Indira  |  February 6, 2016 at 11:18 pm

    Sad but nice take on the prompt.

    Reply
    • 42. plaridel  |  February 7, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      indira:

      thank you. i deeply appreciate your comment.

      Reply
  • 43. mickwynn2013  |  February 7, 2016 at 10:14 am

    I think this must have happened so many times. They were sad times.

    Reply
    • 44. plaridel  |  February 7, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      mick:

      it’ll continue to happen as long as there’s war to be fought.

      Reply
  • 45. patriciaruthsusan  |  February 9, 2016 at 7:38 am

    That story almost gave me chills, Plaridel. What a twist! I didn’t see it coming. Well done. — Suzanne

    Reply
    • 46. plaridel  |  February 9, 2016 at 10:15 am

      suzanne:

      thank you for reading as usual. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 47. erinleary  |  February 9, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    Oh, so sad….well done in so few words.

    Reply
    • 48. plaridel  |  February 10, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      erin:

      your comment is very encouraging. thank you.

      Reply

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