Building A Life Together

July 27, 2016 at 11:10 pm 32 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 29 July 2016

Janet Webb
Photo Credit: Janet Webb

Eric was homeless looking for a place to sleep when he saw the shopping cart in the parking lot.

It reminded him when he was a kid with his mom at the store buying groceries. They were so happy then. Finally, his dad was coming home from Afghanistan.

What they didn’t expect was he’d be arriving earlier than scheduled in a casket.

His mom went into depression and took her own life leaving him to abusive relatives.

“You’re abandoned no more,” he told the shopping cart putting his meager possessions in it. “You and I will build a life together.”

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32 Comments Add your own

  • 1. krn  |  July 27, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    Tragic but hopeful at the same time.

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:05 am

      karen:

      life threw him a lemon. he’s making a lemonade.

      Reply
  • 3. neilmacdon  |  July 28, 2016 at 1:31 am

    Just one thought. If you call him homeless eric, you take us out of his mind and into yours immediately. He wouldn’t call himself homeless eric

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:06 am

      neil:

      your point is well taken.

      Reply
  • 5. Mike  |  July 28, 2016 at 1:47 am

    A sad story – well told.

    Reply
    • 6. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:06 am

      mike:

      thank you for your support. deeply appreciated.

      Reply
  • 7. gahlearner  |  July 28, 2016 at 3:18 am

    A sad fate, but now that he’s found an ally, maybe he can drag himself out.

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:07 am

      gahlearner:

      under the circumstances, it was a positive thing.

      Reply
  • 9. jwdwrites  |  July 28, 2016 at 3:49 am

    Reminds me of a lady I used to know who pushed her things around in a trolley. Maybe if we all knew the back stories to these people we would be more sympathetic to their plight. Good story. 😀

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:08 am

      jwdwrites:

      i agree totally.

      Reply
  • 11. FabricatingFiction  |  July 28, 2016 at 4:25 am

    Oh so sad but a positive end?

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:08 am

      louise:

      i guess so.

      Reply
  • 13. draliman  |  July 28, 2016 at 7:27 am

    Very sad story but it seems like a little bit of hope for Eric at the end.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:08 am

      draliman:

      as long as he doesn’t give up, there’s hope for him.

      Reply
  • 15. Sandra  |  July 28, 2016 at 8:55 am

    Very sad. I hope that was only a temporary state of affairs.

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  July 28, 2016 at 11:09 am

      sandra:

      he couldn’t let himeself think otherwise.

      Reply
  • 17. rochellewisoff  |  July 29, 2016 at 3:45 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    How very sad. I hope he’s able to build a life for himself. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  July 29, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      rochelle:

      he’d make it somehow.

      Reply
  • 19. rgayer55  |  July 29, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    In the next to last paragraph, I think you meant to say “His Mom took her own life.” How sad. Let’s hope Eric gets his back on track.

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  July 29, 2016 at 6:35 pm

      russell:

      good catch! corrected as we speak. thanks for watching my back!

      Reply
  • 21. liz young  |  July 30, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    With such a positive attitude, he will make it.

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  July 30, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      liz:

      yes, he can. 🙂

      Reply
  • 23. wmqcolby  |  July 31, 2016 at 5:53 am

    Whoa! Now THAT’S what I call a good story. One of your best I’d say. Awesome!

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  July 31, 2016 at 6:58 pm

      kent:

      it’s very generous of you. thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 25. aliciajamtaas  |  July 31, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    I like how you brought in his memory of having good times at the store with his mom. As adults – usually finding grocery shopping a drudge – we forget how much fun we had with our parents while doing mundane tasks. A delightful touch in this story.

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  August 1, 2016 at 6:57 pm

      alicia:

      too bad, we grew up very fast.

      Reply
  • 27. lingeringvisions by Dawn  |  July 31, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    Oh my…this has so many implications. It’s much deeper than it appears at first read. One of your best!

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  August 1, 2016 at 6:56 pm

      dawn:

      what a great compliment. thank you.

      Reply
  • 29. k rawson  |  August 1, 2016 at 7:49 am

    sad but sweet! Nicely done.

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  August 1, 2016 at 6:56 pm

      karen:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 31. patriciaruthsusan  |  August 3, 2016 at 2:30 am

    This is a sad, all too familiar story, but there’s hope at the end. Good writing, Plaridel. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  August 3, 2016 at 8:01 pm

      suzanne:

      thanks again for reading. it’s very encouraging. 🙂

      Reply

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