Took Her Breath Away

September 23, 2020 at 12:11 pm 46 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 25 September 2020

Dale Rogerson
Photo Credit: Dale Rogerson

 
Hazel met Adrian online. Since he was from Romania, she wondered if he could be a vampire.

“I’m not,“ Adrian protested. To reassure her, he invited her to a garlic restaurant for dinner.

There was an instant connection between them. Adrian was a great find for someone on a rebound. Or so Hazel thought.

After having a hearty meal, they took a walk on the beach.

It didn’t take long for them to find themselves kissing despite the pungent smell in their mouths, cuddling, and laying on the sand. He definitely took her breath away. Her body was never found.

Entry filed under: Blogroll, Daily Post, friday fictioneers. Tags: , .

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46 Comments Add your own

  • 1. rochellewisoff  |  September 23, 2020 at 12:21 pm

    Dear Plaridel,

    Maybe he wasn’t a vampire, but a monster nonetheless.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  September 23, 2020 at 5:00 pm

      rochelle:

      you said it right.

      Reply
  • 3. Shweta Suresh  |  September 23, 2020 at 12:30 pm

    Oh wow. I never saw that twist coming (though the title nearly gave it away!) Good one, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  September 23, 2020 at 5:00 pm

      shweta:

      i had a hard time figuring out how to end the story. had to go the easy route. 🙂

      Reply
      • 5. Shweta Suresh  |  September 24, 2020 at 1:29 am

        But it was a great one 😃

        Reply
        • 6. plaridel  |  September 24, 2020 at 8:34 am

          shweta:

          it’s very generous of you. 🙂

          Reply
  • 7. neilmacdon  |  September 23, 2020 at 12:40 pm

    Now that’s what I call misdirection. Nicely done

    Reply
    • 8. plaridel  |  September 23, 2020 at 4:59 pm

      neil:

      what a generous compliment. thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 9. Iain Kelly  |  September 23, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    So not a vampire, just a murderer. A different kind of evil.

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  September 23, 2020 at 4:59 pm

      iain:

      true indeed.

      Reply
  • 11. Susan A Eames  |  September 23, 2020 at 2:21 pm

    Oh, that gave me the chills. Well done!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  September 23, 2020 at 4:59 pm

      susan:

      looks could be deceiving. lesson learned too late.

      Reply
  • 13. Dee | Grammy's Grid  |  September 23, 2020 at 3:18 pm

    He’s immune to garlic!

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  September 23, 2020 at 4:58 pm

      dee:

      he probably is. 🙂

      Reply
  • 15. Alicia Jamtaas  |  September 23, 2020 at 6:59 pm

    Oh!!!! Nicely done.

    Reply
    • 16. plaridel  |  September 24, 2020 at 8:35 am

      alicia:

      you’re very kind. thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 17. Tannille  |  September 23, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    Fantastic final two lines. Great take on the prompt.

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  September 24, 2020 at 8:34 am

      tannille:

      i’m deeply flattered. thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 19. draliman  |  September 24, 2020 at 12:26 am

    I love the line “He definitely took her breath away”. It’s not only vampires who kill…

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  September 24, 2020 at 8:34 am

      draliman:

      most definitely, vampires aren’t the only bad guys in this world. 🙂

      Reply
  • 21. Keith's Ramblings  |  September 24, 2020 at 7:04 am

    It started so well then along came a gruesome twist. Nice one plaridel.

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  September 24, 2020 at 8:33 am

      keith:

      i’m glad you liked it. thank you. 🙂

      Reply
  • 23. Dora  |  September 24, 2020 at 9:19 am

    Maybe she should have worried more about realities than fantasies. I knew there was a twist coming but it still caught me off guard. Well done, Plaridel.

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  September 25, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      dora:

      gotcha! 🙂

      Reply
  • 25. Sue  |  September 24, 2020 at 12:53 pm

    Oh dear!! Suspenseful murder mystery or Vampires playing on the beach? Great story 😊🧛🏻

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  September 25, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      sue:

      i’m glad you liked it. thank you for reading. 🙂

      Reply
  • 27. Dale  |  September 24, 2020 at 5:37 pm

    Oh, the poor fool. You just can’t trust a charming man.

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  September 25, 2020 at 9:29 pm

      dale:

      she took the risk and paid for it with her life.

      Reply
  • 29. msjadeli  |  September 24, 2020 at 6:53 pm

    Online dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, as your story illustrates!

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  September 25, 2020 at 9:28 pm

      msjadeli:

      sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. it’s a crapshoot.

      Reply
  • 31. Brenda's Thoughts  |  September 25, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    Oh no! A monster indeed!

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  September 25, 2020 at 9:28 pm

      brenda:

      no doubt about it.

      Reply
  • 33. Elizabeth Young  |  September 26, 2020 at 12:26 am

    Worse than a vampire, then – good reveal!

    Reply
    • 34. plaridel  |  September 26, 2020 at 7:34 pm

      liz:

      your comment is much appreciated. thank you.

      Reply
  • 35. James McEwan  |  September 26, 2020 at 2:43 am

    My goodness, it would have been better for her if he was a Vampire, at least their night time romances searching for victims together would be fun.

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  September 26, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      james:

      i’m not sure it would be any better, but at least she’s alive.

      Reply
  • 37. granonine  |  September 26, 2020 at 6:30 am

    If not a vampire, then certainly a monster. Good one 🙂

    Reply
    • 38. plaridel  |  September 26, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      linda:

      absolutely right.

      Reply
  • 39. Sandra  |  September 26, 2020 at 7:23 am

    As you say, he certainly knocked her dead.

    Reply
    • 40. plaridel  |  September 26, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      sandra:

      i’m afraid he did.

      Reply
  • 41. michaelwynnauthor  |  September 28, 2020 at 4:37 am

    Oh dear, when assured he was no vampire she obviously became complacent and let her guard down.

    Reply
    • 42. plaridel  |  September 30, 2020 at 9:00 am

      mick:

      big mistake on her part.

      Reply
  • 43. notestowomen  |  September 28, 2020 at 7:29 am

    What an unfortunate end for her.

    Reply
    • 44. plaridel  |  September 30, 2020 at 8:59 am

      notestowomen:

      it happens.

      Reply
  • 45. Indira  |  October 5, 2020 at 9:43 am

    Immune to garlic? Well written.

    Reply
    • 46. plaridel  |  October 6, 2020 at 11:04 am

      indira:

      i’m flattered. thank you. 🙂

      Reply

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