Early Winter

February 22, 2017 at 2:56 pm 43 comments

For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 24 February 2017

Sarah Potter

Photo Credit: Sarah Potter

Samuel was sweating as he held on to his gun tightly waiting for the order to attack.

He thought of the girl that he left behind.

“Promise me, you’ll come back,” Emily said.

“I promise,” he said.

In the western front, it was the promise that kept him alive up to this moment.

“Fix bayonet,” the commander yelled.

From the muddy trenches, they climbed up to engage the enemy. One by one, they fell from machine gun fire.

Back home, winter arrived early. As Emily looked out the window, she saw the snow started to fall covering the ground below.

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43 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Iain Kelly  |  February 22, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Great work, loved it. The trenches of World War 1 are filled with tragic tales such as this.

    Reply
    • 2. plaridel  |  February 22, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      iain:

      strange, in a previous life i thought i died there.

      Reply
  • 3. Dale  |  February 22, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    Oh man…some promises are impossible to keep

    Reply
    • 4. plaridel  |  February 23, 2017 at 9:43 am

      dale:

      sad, but true.

      Reply
  • 5. draliman  |  February 23, 2017 at 3:51 am

    Oh dear 😦
    I never understood the tactics behind walking slowly towards a machine gun.

    Reply
  • 9. rochellewisoff  |  February 23, 2017 at 4:10 am

    Dear Plaridel,

    Powerful story, full of pathos.

    Nitpick…I think she would say “Promise you’ll come back…you’d puts it in the past.”

    Reply
    • 10. plaridel  |  February 23, 2017 at 9:44 am

      rochelle:

      corrected. thank you for watching my back. much appreciated.

      Reply
  • 11. neelwritesblog  |  February 23, 2017 at 4:27 am

    Brilliant WW1 story.

    Reply
    • 12. plaridel  |  February 23, 2017 at 9:45 am

      neel:

      thank you. i’m glad you liked it.

      Reply
  • 13. jellico84  |  February 23, 2017 at 5:02 am

    So many promises given, so few returned… all because of the war.

    Reply
    • 14. plaridel  |  February 23, 2017 at 9:46 am

      jelli:

      war is hell.

      Reply
      • 15. jellico84  |  February 23, 2017 at 11:03 am

        “War is hell, and hell is hell, and of the two war is worse” Hawkeye, Mash 4077th tv show.

        Reply
        • 16. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:42 pm

          jelli:

          well said.

          Reply
  • 17. Magaly Guerrero  |  February 23, 2017 at 7:32 am

    War destroys so much… and most often than not, the destruction engulfs those thousands of miles away from the front.

    Reply
    • 18. plaridel  |  February 23, 2017 at 9:46 am

      magaly:

      i totally agree.

      Reply
  • 19. Keith's Ramblings  |  February 23, 2017 at 8:58 am

    With so much going on today it’s easy to remember wars of the past. A timely reminder.

    Click for my Friday Fiction

    Reply
    • 20. plaridel  |  February 23, 2017 at 9:42 am

      keith:

      good point.

      Reply
  • 21. Rommy  |  February 23, 2017 at 10:20 am

    Winter does make an effective metaphor for death. Emily may not have understood the full truth behind they chills she may have felt, but the reader did.

    Reply
    • 22. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:42 pm

      rommy:

      you’ve made the most perceptive comment on this humble story. thank you.

      Reply
  • 23. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover  |  February 23, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    Beautiful and very tragic. I take it the early snow was a sign for the unknowing wives and families left behind, it was the skies weeping.

    Reply
    • 24. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:42 pm

      life lessons of a dog lover:

      you’re very perceptive. you felt what i was trying to say.

      Reply
  • 25. handmadejewelryhaven  |  February 23, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    Aww. I felt my heart squeeze while reading that. 😦
    – Lisa

    Reply
    • 26. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      lisa:

      i appreciate the compliment very much. thank you.

      Reply
  • 27. rgayer55  |  February 24, 2017 at 4:02 am

    So many that didn’t come back–sacrificed as cannon fodder. The cold heartbreak at home. Well told.

    Reply
    • 28. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      russell:

      yes, it’s an irony that those who send them to battle stay behind the lines.

      Reply
  • 29. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)  |  February 24, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    The world had too many Emilys … too many that died, and it scares me that there are those who long for war.

    Reply
    • 30. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      björn:

      unfortunately, the allure of war is embedded in our genes.

      Reply
  • 31. mandibelle16  |  February 24, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    Sad one, not a promise he could keep. It was out of his control.

    Reply
    • 32. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      mandi:

      totally true.

      Reply
  • 33. wmqcolby  |  February 24, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Reminds me of World War I and Remarque’s novel. Very well done. I feel sorry for Emily.

    Reply
    • 34. plaridel  |  February 24, 2017 at 6:39 pm

      kent:

      i haven’t read the novel but saw two versions of the movie based on it. perhaps it’s time for me to read the novel. 🙂

      Reply
  • 35. lingeringvisions by Dawn  |  February 27, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Lovely romanticism.

    Reply
    • 36. plaridel  |  February 28, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      dawn:

      i’m glad you liked it. deeply appreciate your time reading it.

      Reply
  • 37. yuhublogger  |  February 28, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Lovely, as usual! I had a similar thought when I saw this photo prompt. Cheers!

    Reply
    • 38. plaridel  |  February 28, 2017 at 3:10 pm

      yuhu:

      thank you for stopping by and reading my story. deeply appreciated.

      Reply
  • 40. Snow's Fissures and Fractures  |  February 28, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    Such a sad, sad story. Nicely done.

    Reply
    • 41. plaridel  |  February 28, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      lora:

      i’m glad you liked it. thank you.

      Reply
  • 42. Dawn Quyle Landau  |  February 28, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    Such horrible realities these men faced, and such painful uncertainty and waiting those who loved them, faced at home. A poignant story of these hard truths.

    Reply
    • 43. plaridel  |  March 1, 2017 at 10:28 am

      dawn:

      i appreciate the thoughtful comment. thank you.

      Reply

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