Abandoned
April 11, 2018 at 9:22 am 48 comments
For Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Challenge: 13 Apr 2018
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Photo Credit: Yarnspinnerr
The mother hen knows what to do when chicks emerge from their shells.
Coming to this world dazed and confused, she gently nurtures her brood, protects them from predators, and keeps them warm under her wings at night.
Once they become young adults, however, she lets go and abandons them. They are then raised in Colonel Sanders’ cage to await the fate as those who have gone before them.
That’s how 14-year old Ayesha felt when her mother sold her to a Saudi man at the auction house. With a steely resolve, she decides to escape through the open window.
Entry filed under: Blogroll, friday fictioneers. Tags: 100-word challenge, fiction, human trafficking.
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Musings of a Random Mind 
1.
Susan A Eames | April 11, 2018 at 9:49 am
Oh no! I hope she escapes.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
2.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 12:17 pm
susan:
it’s like jumping from the frying pan into the fire, but what choice does she have? better to try something than not to do something at all.
3.
James | April 11, 2018 at 9:49 am
Hope she makes it.
I once wrote about a similar theme in my story “The Girl from Svay Pak,” where mothers will sell their daughters (virgins are especially prized) into sex slavery in the Phnom Penh neighborhood of Svay Pak in Cambodia. I combined this with the disturbing (and very real life) trend of at least one Japanese company making life-like child “sexbots”.
You can search my blog for the title or if you want, I can send you the link, but it’s a much more disturbing tale than the one you’ve related here.
4.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 12:14 pm
james:
i’d google your story. it should be an interesting read. anyway, it seems like a common practice in impoverized villages. i had this conversation with a retired marine who was in south korea in the 60s. he told me this horrible story about families selling their daughters into servitude to bars and brothels in malaysia and thailand. it begs the question: what can be more inhuman than to treat your daughters like commodities?
5.
James | April 11, 2018 at 1:05 pm
Unfortunately, it’s an old story.
I don’t think you can Google my story title, but if you go to the very bottom of my blog page, there’s a Search box for you to use that should work.
6.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 10:05 pm
james:
i googled it and found it. thanks for sharing.
7.
Iain Kelly | April 11, 2018 at 11:55 am
Well, this is bleak for all involved.
8.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 12:02 pm
iain:
i know.
9.
Jelli | April 11, 2018 at 1:43 pm
Go girl! Run like Hell!
10.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 10:05 pm
jelli:
it’ll be awesome if she can hear you.
11.
rochellewisoff | April 11, 2018 at 5:10 pm
Dear Plaridel,
I echo others who have said run like hell! The question is where will she go? Bleak, sad and well told.
Shalom,
Rochelle
12.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 10:05 pm
rochelle:
hope springs eternal.
13.
Dale | April 11, 2018 at 5:30 pm
Oh Plaridel! How sombre and hard you are this week! Well done, though…
14.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 10:05 pm
dale:
i looked the picture and somehow that was what i came up with.
15.
Dale | April 12, 2018 at 3:41 am
Oh, I wasn’t complaining… it was a good story for sure.
16.
plaridel | April 12, 2018 at 9:18 am
dale:
i’m glad you liked it. š
17.
anuragbakhshi | April 11, 2018 at 9:40 pm
A disturbing tale, but thankfully, it ends on a hopeful note.
18.
plaridel | April 11, 2018 at 10:03 pm
anurag:
a flicker of hope perhaps, but still hope.
19.
Russell Gayer | April 12, 2018 at 4:21 am
If it wasn’t for hope, what would we have to hold onto. Well written, Plaridel.
20.
plaridel | April 12, 2018 at 9:17 am
russell:
yes, indeed. without hope, we have nothing to live for.
21.
draliman | April 12, 2018 at 3:05 am
Run, Ayesha! Very grim. I liked the lead-in and comparison with the chickens.
22.
plaridel | April 12, 2018 at 9:18 am
draliman:
thank you for reading. col. sanders, by the way, was the founder of kentucky fried chickens franchise.
23.
Moon | April 12, 2018 at 5:02 am
I hope and pray she is able to escape to a better world.
Moving and very nicely written story, Plaridel.
24.
plaridel | April 12, 2018 at 9:17 am
moon:
it’s very kind of you to find it moving. much appreciated.
25.
pennygadd51 | April 12, 2018 at 9:24 am
I like the way you build your story, from the metaphor of chickens being slaughtered to Ayesha’s brave attempt to escape. Well done!
26.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:28 am
penny:
what a nice comment. thank you.
27.
Alicia Jamtaas | April 12, 2018 at 11:36 am
Nice comparison between the loving mother and the one who lets her child go ~ or pushes her out. May Ayesha win in the end.
28.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:28 am
alicia:
a slim chance, but she’ll take it.
29.
lisarey1990 | April 12, 2018 at 4:19 pm
The turnaround in this story is so fast and unexpected and is excellently written. May Ayesha escape and can live without as much emotional pain as possible from the experience.
30.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:28 am
lisarey:
thank you for the kind comment. much appreciated.
31.
granonine | April 12, 2018 at 6:01 pm
Horrible, horrible. I hope she escapes.
32.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:27 am
linda:
she deserves a break.
33.
Fabricating Fiction/Louise Jensen | April 13, 2018 at 1:43 am
I hope it works out for her!
34.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:27 am
louise:
it’ll be great if it does.
35.
subroto | April 13, 2018 at 7:37 am
Sadly sex slavery continues throughout the world and is everywhere. Grim story.
36.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:27 am
subroto:
i completely agree.
37.
yarnspinnerr | April 13, 2018 at 8:12 am
Topical. Human exploitation is still big business, Great take.
38.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:26 am
yarnspinnerr:
it’s unfortunate that it is.
39.
k rawson | April 13, 2018 at 9:26 am
Your story casts a sinister little spell and then BAM! I hope she makes it.
40.
plaridel | April 13, 2018 at 9:32 am
karen:
she’s left with no other option but try to escape even if her chances of making it are slim.
41.
jillyfunnell | April 15, 2018 at 4:23 am
Good luck to her. I hope she survives. Love the way you weave the words towards Ayesha’s escape.
42.
plaridel | April 17, 2018 at 9:19 am
jill:
thank you for reading. it’s much appreciated.
43.
Sarah Ann | April 15, 2018 at 11:42 am
So well done. That last paragraph is so strong and was such a surprise.
44.
plaridel | April 17, 2018 at 9:18 am
sarah ann:
it’s very encouraging that you liked it. thank you for reading.
45.
michaelwynnauthor | April 16, 2018 at 2:24 am
What a horrible situation. The last line offers hope but I fear it’s in vain
46.
plaridel | April 17, 2018 at 9:18 am
mick:
you’re likely right.
47.
Sascha Darlington | April 17, 2018 at 5:55 pm
š¦ I hope she makes it. I hope the chicks do too.
48.
plaridel | April 18, 2018 at 6:50 pm
sascha:
she has a slim chance, but the chicks are doomed.